You’ve been a bad piece of wood. Bad!
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
What bizarre new hobby is this?!
What ridiculous hobby have you started now?
Find a good hobby yet?
I’ve started making hipster-style hats out of folded paper.
My doctor says I’m too stressed out and I should take up a hobby.
So, I thought I’d try a classic American pastime…
That’s not what that means.
“Dear Mu, our stupid brother has started a stupid advice column. Now he gets all these stupid letters and thinks he’s better than we.”
“We shall not let this stand. Let it be decreed henceforth that this villainy shall not be tolerated! Signed, Her Royal Highness.”
Fu, be careful – I think you’ve become queen with envy!
“Dear Mu, I’m opening a new restaurant. My top candidate for head chef is Schmordon Ramsay.”
“I’ve never tasted his food, but he says he’s Gordon Ramsay’s brother. Should I hire him? Signed, Pete Zaria.”
Be careful, Pete. Remember, you can’t tell a cook by his brother!
“Dear Mu, my friend Han and I are here to rescue the princess, but he’s hurt his leg and can’t walk.”
“Stormtroopers will be here any second! What should we do?!? Signed, Trapped on Tattooine.”
Trapped, the solution is simple: Keep calm and carry Han!
“Dear Mu, I play Susan Dey in an off-Broadway production of The Partridge Family: Behind the Music.”
“But I just got an amazing offer to be a toll booth operator in New Jersey. What should I do? Signed, Don’t Call Me Laurie.”
Laurie, working a toll booth is way too taxing. Trust me: don’t quit your Dey job!