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By J NYPD Salinger

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Thank you all for coming back to the Mu and Fu Book Club.

I never left.

An alienated young man gets kicked out of prep school, hides in a grain silo and answers 911 calls.

It’s Dispatcher in the Rye!

You slashed my tires so I couldn’t leave.

 

No doughnuts

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We have a really great book to discuss in book club today.

I was told there would be doughnuts.

During Napoleon’s invasion of Russia, five aristocratic families form a metal band known for their really gross stage shows.

It’s Tolstoy’s classic, GWAR and Peace!

 

Car safety and facial hair

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Since our last book club selection stank, today we have a classic.

Okay.

In the antebellum South, a boy takes a river journey, learning the importance of seat belts while starting to grow a beard.

It’s called The Adventures of Buckle Hairy Chin!

 

Lava-story time

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Thank you all for coming to the inaugural meeting of the Mu and Fu Book Club.

No problem.

Our first selection is a tale of intrigue, suspense, diabolically complex puzzles and the toilet of a great Renaissance painter.

It’s called The Da Vinci Commode!

 

Love hurts

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Did you try out any of your pickup lines last night?

I said to this girl, “Girl, you’re like a bowl of fruit juice. You’re sweet and you start the party.”

Then she punched me.

Well, naturally.

 
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