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By J NYPD Salinger
0Thank you all for coming back to the Mu and Fu Book Club.
I never left.
An alienated young man gets kicked out of prep school, hides in a grain silo and answers 911 calls.
It’s Dispatcher in the Rye!
You slashed my tires so I couldn’t leave.
No doughnuts
0We have a really great book to discuss in book club today.
I was told there would be doughnuts.
During Napoleon’s invasion of Russia, five aristocratic families form a metal band known for their really gross stage shows.
It’s Tolstoy’s classic, GWAR and Peace!
Car safety and facial hair
0Since our last book club selection stank, today we have a classic.
Okay.
In the antebellum South, a boy takes a river journey, learning the importance of seat belts while starting to grow a beard.
It’s called The Adventures of Buckle Hairy Chin!
Lava-story time
0Thank you all for coming to the inaugural meeting of the Mu and Fu Book Club.
No problem.
Our first selection is a tale of intrigue, suspense, diabolically complex puzzles and the toilet of a great Renaissance painter.
It’s called The Da Vinci Commode!
Love hurts
0Did you try out any of your pickup lines last night?
I said to this girl, “Girl, you’re like a bowl of fruit juice. You’re sweet and you start the party.”
Then she punched me.
Well, naturally.
Girl, you’re compounding my interest
0Is your daddy a medical accountant?
‘Cause you got a healthy bottom line.
There’s no way that’s gonna pay dividends.
Laughing through the tears
0Girl, you are like Visine.com.
That’s your pickup line?
Let me finish.
‘Cause you are a site for sore eyes!
Avoid the noid
1Okay, I have a better pickup line.
I certainly hope so.
Is your last name Domino’s? ‘Cause you are a hot pizza perfection!
Well?
Decent line. Terrible delivery.