“Dear Mu, my friend Han and I are here to rescue the princess, but he’s hurt his leg and can’t walk.”
“Stormtroopers will be here any second! What should we do?!? Signed, Trapped on Tattooine.”
Trapped, the solution is simple: Keep calm and carry Han!
“Dear Mu, I play Susan Dey in an off-Broadway production of The Partridge Family: Behind the Music.”
“But I just got an amazing offer to be a toll booth operator in New Jersey. What should I do? Signed, Don’t Call Me Laurie.”
Laurie, working a toll booth is way too taxing. Trust me: don’t quit your Dey job!
I’ve started an advice column.
Who would want your advice?
This woman, for one. Her kid won’t stop pretending to be an ostrich.
I told her, “Be firm. Tell him, ‘This is my house, and that kind of behavior will not fly around here!'”
Hey Mu, what do you call a stinky pachyderm?
I don’t actually know your mom’s first name.
Wow, you call her that to her face?
Hey Mu, what do you call a pachyderm with a propeller?
Oh, great. Now you’re a prop comic.
Hey Mu, what do you call a psychic pachyderm?
What a tarot-ble joke!
Hey Mu, what do you call a pachyderm from Paris?
I did not!
You did, too!
An entire load of sourdough has vanished. You have crumbs all over your fur. Face it, Fu…
You’ve been caught bread-handed!