Okay, so I have a copy of Tolstoy’s War and Peace…

…now I just need to rent a woodchipper!

What hobby is this?

Scrapbooking!

You’ve been a bad piece of wood. Bad!

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

What bizarre new hobby is this?!

Paddle boarding!

Find a good hobby yet?

Maybe.

I’ve started making hipster-style hats out of folded paper.

Why?

It’s fedora-gami!

My doctor says I’m too stressed out and I should take up a hobby.

So, I thought I’d try a classic American pastime…

…Bowling!

That’s not what that means.